Art as Therapy

Thursday marked the one month anniversary of dad’s passing.

Not a day has gone by without my thinking about him at least once, often more.   The reality of his death usually hits me during the dark hours of the night, when my brain and body are less consumed by the chores of the day.    His urn and cremated ashes are perched high on the shelf in the room I’m sleeping in.  Adorned with the peace doves, it is a constant reminder of both the wonder and the sadness that was his journey.

On most days I don’t feel like I’m grieving.  I get on with my days, mom and I have plenty of stuff to do, and I find myself chuckling and laughing at something funny.  But there is grief to experience and one way to express it is through art.

In August, when dad was still relatively healthy, I went to a collage making class given by Nadine at her Artful Dreamers studio in Boynton Beach.   I’d never made a collage before and I didn’t know what I was going to make until Nadine put all the ‘goodies’ out on the table.  As I sifted through them and started to pick out the things I liked, I noticed that there was a theme developing, one of love and honor, and I decided to make it as a tribute and celebration to dad while he was still alive.   A bit of a cathartic experience, I felt liberated and lighter after having created something from the sadness and pain I was feeling.  And, to boot, it was something that I and others enjoyed looking at.

Nadine had planned to close the studio for the month of September so she could spend time with her family.   I was devastated as I knew I was going to need to do more art.  She kindly agreed to give me some of her collage making materials to sift through.  And voila, about two weeks after dad’s death and after I’d gone through some of his things,  I crafted five more collages for family and friends.

They all have significance as all of them incorporate a physical object of dad’s and they incorporate my feelings and experience I shared with that person during this time.     I am pleased with my creations.

As art is meant to be shared with others,  I herewith share my creations with you.  The recipient of the collages each received a personal letter from me discussing the symbology of the piece, some of which is excerpted below.

A Tribute to Dad

for Hugo Guidi (Aug 2012)

The collage has a lot of hearts which symbolize love.  Dad loved his family very much.

There are “H’s” throughout, for Hugo, and an “H” and “C” for Hugo & Carmella along with the word “Us”.    Joy is there in the word “Joy” and I am in the collage as the artist and creator.

The laughing Buddha embodies the ideals of the good life:  health, happiness, prosperity, and longevity.   Dad had all of these despite in the end being diagnosed with cancer.

In the bottom left hand corner is a symbol of Aries, the Ram, the astrological sign for dad’s birth date of April 20^th.    Aries are usually stubborn, and dad was stubborn in his own way right to the end – he refused to prolong his suffering and I think he consciously made choices through the dying process to do it on his own terms.

The angels are watching over him and were with us always throughout his illness and death.

Friends Forever

for Father Gabriel Ghanoum (Sept 2012)

This was made for Father Gabriel who would visit dad in Hospice daily and sign “Friends Forever.”   His connection to dad and to our family penetrated deeply on a soul level and I created this collage in honor of that connection.

•  The letter “G” represents Guidi and Ghanoum.  I found the letter in a parking lot on the day that we last saw dad at the funeral home before his cremation.  I felt that it was a communication from him.
• The hands in prayer, Madonna, and Cross charms were found amongst dad’s things and, therefore, his spirit is embedded in this collage.
• The peace dove reminds me of our time in Hospice.
• Spirals, butterflies and hearts are symbols of love and peace.
• Dragonflies:   In almost every part of the world, the dragonfly symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.
• The religious iconography runs across cultures – Jesus, the Madonna and Child, Buddhas, Lady Quan Yin, and the angels, all signify that we are all one, no matter what faith or religion.
• A portion of the Harmonious Presence painting forms the background of the upper right corner.   The painting is stunning for its beauty and for its ability to radiate its light to those who sit before it.   It is perfect for the chapel.
• The ‘Give Hope’ item was part of a bracelet found amongst dad’s things.  I felt this was perfect for Father Gabriel’s collage as he does this every day — gives hope to people and their families.
• The wordings “Where there is great love, there are always miracles”;  “I am blessed with infinite love and gratitude”;  and “Release judgments about yourself and others, and focus on the love and light that is within everyone” – these, to me, represent the teachings of Father Gabriel’s sermons.   He has a magical way with words and communicates his message very effectively to people.
• The Archangel Gabriel (upper left corner) reminds me of him.  Gabriel serves as a messenger to the people from God and Father Gabriel is exactly that!

Family Bonds

for Joy Wygant (Sept 2012)

This collage was made in honor of our time spent as a family during dad’s illness.  It is to help remember the special moments and gifts we shared during those weeks together.

• Several items came from mom and dad’s 50^th wedding anniversary cards:  the white gilded upper corner pieces of paper, the gold heart, the two love birds at the top, and the lily pad mauve-colored heart.
• The cross in the background of the main heart is from a card I gave to Joy on her confirmation in the early 1980’s;  the Madonna charm is also from  her confirmation which we found in mom and dad’s closet.
• The cross and the “I Love You” hand were dads.
• The collage is adorned with hearts for all the love we experienced, not only from our family, but from friends around us.
• The gold stone ‘heart’ Joy found on the beach after dad’s passing.
• All the religious iconography — Buddha, the angel in the garden, the Madonna, the Cross — symbolize universal oneness.
• “Hugs and Kisses” is in honor of all the kisses we gave to dad.
• The purple flowers represent the elements of dignity and success. It is also associated with good judgment and spiritual fulfillment.  These are attributes I wish for our family.
• The bird in the upper left corner says ‘Blessed Forever” which I hope we all are.  It is also a symbol for Birdsong and ties us together across the oceans.

 Monkey Business

for my niece, Sienna Grace (Sept 2012)

Sienna was in Florida for the last two weeks of dad’s life and witnessed things that she has little ability to yet understand.   This was my fun, light piece that I made for her, to remember the fun times we had at nanna and pappa’s house.   What follows is an excerpt from my letter to her:

“Monkeys are the bestest!  I love that you love your monkeys, all of them – Anas bananas, Oooh-oooh, Curious, Carney, Izzie, and Hands Up!  It is so delightful to hear you squeal with delight when playing with them.

This collage is a tribute to you and your monkeys.    Monkeys are loyal, witty, playful and intelligent and often are depicted as fun, charming and energetic.   I think you are a monkey too, Sienna!

With the monkeys are lots of fun loving, happy frogs.    Frogs often symbolize luck, rebirth, renewal, healing, metamorphosis, and transitions.

The hearts and flowers are purple – your favorite color.  Purple is associated with good judgment and spiritual fulfillment, both of which I hope you will have in life.

The angel in the lower right corner came from pappa.  It is your guardian angel, always with you whenever you need her.”

Pappa and Me

for my niece Sienna Grace (Sept 2012)

And this one is my tribute to Sienna and dad.

“You and pappa shared a very special bond as these pictures show.   These are just a few of my favorites of you and him.        Pappa loved you very, very much and always smiled whenever you were near, especially when you would sign “I Love You Pappa” to him.  It made him very happy.

I know it is hard for you to understand right now why you can’t see pappa anymore.   He has died and even though he is no longer in his physical body, he is still with us in our hearts and he will always be watching over us.   He is never far away.

Pappa always thought you were a very smart girl.   You loved to laugh around him and tease him and he liked to tickle you.   He never got tired of having you sit with him and he held you as much as you would allow.

You and mommy being with pappa during his last weeks of life brought him great comfort and peace.   When you are old enough I will tell you the stories to help you remember.”

 Ladybug, Ladybug

for my soon-to-be-born niece (Sept 2012)

Again, an excerpt of my letter to my niece.

“The family fondly referred to you as ladybug while you were in utero.  We have all been excited to meet you and we are looking forward to your arrival in December.   Ladybugs adorn the collage in your honor!

Your birth will occur under the astrological sign of Sagittarius. The background paper of the collage is a representation of what a female Sagittarian would look like – the female archer, playful, yet intuitive and visionary.   As a Sagittarius, you may have a deep sense, often unarticulated, that life is meaningful, that man is divine, that all things have a purpose and reach a lesson and offer growth.    If you can reconcile yourself with the imperfections of being on the physical plane with the vision of the divineness of the spiritual plane, then you will have learned true compassion, and will be privy to one of the deepest secrets in life and of human beings – the duality of god and beast that underlies us all.

It is my hope that you will come into this world already ‘knowing’ deep compassion after experiencing in utero the journey of grandpa Guidi through his illness and then death.    Your mother was strong and full of love during that time and you were surrounded by lots of love.

The charms on the collage (the dolphin, the bear, and heart of hope) came from pappa.  I found them when I was going through his things.  The panda bears also were pappa’s.   The giant panda is often recognized as a symbol of peace.

Lastly, we have the dragonfly which symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.

It is my guess that you will reveal yourself to be an old soul, full of wisdom and compassion.    I can’t wait to meet you.”

Art as therapy?   Heck yes.   There is more that needs to get expressed, get manifested, get created.    I better get busy!