From the time we started talking about this move about a year and a half ago, the word faith has entered and remained a key concept in my vocabulary. This has been an incredible year of change for me; changes in ways that I’ve not been accustomed to. I’ve always been a person who’s made calculated decisions, who knew what was coming next, who always had the next job before leaving the first, etc. I always made prudent and ‘safe’ decisions.
Now I’m jumping off the cliff and heading full steam into relatively unknown territory.
We’ve spent the whole last year planning for this move. It’s been a journey of shedding, shedding a lot of things that have formed my identity: my job, my home, my car. I left my job that I held for fourteen years; got rid of my car I had for eighteen years (my beloved Nissan Sentra), and am now selling my home of seven years. It’s been difficult to let go and it’s been a long process of grieving for the loss of these things held dear to me. The thing that gets me through the harder days is faith – faith in myself and in my husband that this painful upheaval of extracting ourselves from our friends and family will be worth it.
When folks ask what are we going to do there, how long are we planning to stay, when will we be back, the only answer I can truthfully say is “I don’t know”. Sure, we have some ideas, but we have absolutely no idea what the future holds. I don’t know if this is the most foolish thing I’ve ever done or the most brilliant. Who can say until we walk down the path. We will learn and grow from this journey and we will be better people for having followed our hearts and for trying to pursue a dream.
As George Michael says,
You gotta have faith…
Mmm, you gotta have faith
‘Cause you gotta have faith, faith,
Mm ’cause you gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith!
I gots it!